In the movie Milk, Harvey Milk implored everyone to come out of the closet and threatened that for those who didn't, the door would be opened for them.
"There is such a thing as the right to privacy in this country," someone objected.
Milk's response was to suggest that secrecy was their enemy, because straight people wouldn't join the cause unless they realized that people in their lives, people they loved, were also gay.
Of course when we talk about coming out of the closet it is usually in the context of homosexuality, but everyone keeps secrets. Some seem quite trivial, unconventional thoughts of any kind, that we like to shower in the dark, read trashy novels, vote differently than our spouses, for example. We don't tell people how much we eat, if we're fat, because we're scared people will think we're fat. We won't tell our spouses what we need from them to be happy, because we're scared they won't understand. We don't tell people when we're depressed, because we expect to be judged, even for that. We live in a world that judges us for everything, but worse, and more significant, we live in a world where so many people lack the courage to challenge that judgment.
We have a right to privacy. It's in the constitution.
It's nice to say something is in the constitution when we want to cite an authority. My son would like to say that the right to sleep with the light on is in the constitution.
The right to privacy isn't, per se, in the constitution. It has, however, been construed to exist within the construct of multiple interrelated pieces. The Supreme Court agreed with this argument, back in the good old days, and it was a basis for, among other things, Roe vs. Wade.
My father, I have mentioned before, was a civil rights activist. Actually he was for many years, before he retired, the Director of the infamous (to some) American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). The ACLU is big on privacy rights, and so, as a kid, was I. I was shy and modest. I liked the peace and quiet of being alone. I wanted my own room. My father, for this reason, gave me a shirt, which I wore proudly throughout the 7th grade, a promotional product for the Missouri (branch of the American) Civil Liberties Union that said, "Privacy - nobody's business but your own."
My love of privacy wasn't exactly the same thing as the right to privacy guaranteed under the constitution, but I still really liked the shirt.
And it nurtured in me an awareness of constitutionally protected privacy as well, a necessary right if we are truly to be free.
But now I am a writer. And writers don't like keeping things private. Writers reveal their own secrets and those of people in their lives. They speak of the human condition, the good ones do, in a way that is universal, and for that it has to be real. They serve society by helping us to know and understand each other. And towards that end, privacy and secrecy really are "the enemy." So, as a writer, I have come to believe that if everyone knew everyone else's secrets, it would be a lot harder to judge each other, that if we are to nurture the celebration of diversity, we have to debunk the fantasy that everyone can ever be the same, and that honesty is a necessary step in the path towards peace, freedom certainly, and maybe even salvation.
Therefore, like Harvey Milk used to say (as least according to the movie), "I want to recruit you."
I want to recruit you to exhibit the courage it most definitely takes to tell the truth, to stand tall and proud, to admit that you are imperfect. I want to recruit you to tell your secrets, and not just the things you can defend, but also the things you can't, in what ways you are weak, have made mistakes, still make mistakes, what you would like to change about yourself, and what you would not like to change, despite that people want to judge you for it.
I'm not saying that you should send an e-mail to everyone including the marketing companies that ever sent you junk mail, telling them all how often you masturbate (just send that one to the marketing companies). There are certain things people don't need to know.
What I am suggesting is that we be mindful and courageous, so that when the opportunity presents itself to disclose something that could be helpful to others, by broadening their perspectives, by challenging them in areas in which they may either judge, or feel judged themselves, that you take the opportunity, that you say, and admit, something.
I want to lead you down this path of self-disclosure. And I want you to lead me, so that I can say, as Gandhi once said, "there go my people, I must catch up to them, for I am their leader."
Yes, I have just asked you to go first.
In all seriousness, I admit that I don't have the courage to truly lead. Not yet. But I try. I have my eyes open. I know that cowardice is one of my weaknesses, but being mindful of that helps me be more courageous. And when I see others stepping up, I will be inspired by that.
To my credit, I write under my real name. Many nowadays on the internet are able to be more honest because they don't do that. That's a start too, but ultimately I think we need to be honest with the people who know us, because to change the world, people need to know that their judgment affects people they know and love.